Cactus Jack: I say, "Mikey look at the leaves changing color. The beauty of the fall foilage". But you were too cool to care, weren't you Mikey?

I'd say, "Mikey, this is a cassette that means alot to me. If you listen to the words, you'll find that they might change your life." And Mikey took that tape out, and said, "Who is Leonard Cohen?".

Then stuck in satanic ritual music of Ozzy Ozbourne and expected me, as a parent of two children to stand there and take it!!

I know you don't have money Mikey. So I dished it out. I paid the tolls, I paid the gas. I even gave you food for meals. And what did you come across with? Nothing nutrious. Nothing that would make you into a world champion...

I can count each every time Mikey...Doritos. If you want to ruin your body, well that's damn well up to you. But the fact remains, when you don't need Cactus Jack. And you weren't able to get a ride on your own, those Doritos stayed there, and they haunted me, and they called me, until I couldn't take it anymore. FOR GOD'S SAKE MAN, DON'T YOU REALIZE I HAVE AN EATING DISORDER??!!!

(Cut to Mikey Whipwreck)

Mikey: Doritos?....Eating Disorder?

(Cut to Cactus Jack)

Cactus Jack: But now there's a man....who's taken me into his going to make me a bigger star than I ever dreamed. And all he asked, but one thing!! "Bring me Mikey Whipwreck". And I looked him into the eye, and said, "Yes Vince (McMahon), he'll be yours, yours, all yours".....Mikey, you're making me look like a liar.

AND I WILL SMACK YOU!! if you were my own child. The only difference Mikey,...there's no laws against destroying you.

What Uncle Vince wants, Uncle Vince gets.

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